Being an "other"

As a Saudi person, I have never felt that I do not belong or that I am treated as an "other” in Saudi Arabia. However, after moving to the sates, I then started to develop those kinds of feelings. In Saudi Arabia, my language is the dominant language and my hijab is not questioned, but in the states, I have to use another language and many people question the way I look and dress. This experience made me interested in knowing how other people from Saudi Arabia feel about being in a totally different culture. I wanted to see how their identities affected their experiences and whether it was an obstacle to them or no. To do that, I interviewed four Saudi ladies, Rania, Manal, Tala, and Lamia, who are in the stated for studying. 

Rania has been in the states for six years, she went to an English academy for two years then she started her undergraduate program at High Point University and now she is in her last semester. 

Manal has been in the states for only 7 months, she came with her husband and now she has been in an English academy for one month and a half. Her English is still very limited thus she requested to answer my questions in Arabic. All of her answers were translated into English without making any changes in them.

Tala has been in the states for six years and a half, she graduated from a speech-language pathology program at the Univesity of North Carolina at Greensboro and now she is fulfilling her master’s degree at the same university and in the same major. 

Lamia has been in the states for two years now, at her first year she was enrolled in an English academy and now she enrolled in a nursing program.

- How does being a Muslim female affect your life in the USA? Do you feel that you were able to fit in?

Rania: For me being a Muslim woman in America affected me negatively. I am a conservative person and I admire the culture I came from, thus, the place in her did not suit me well. In general, people look at women who wear a hijab in an unpleasant way. I have used to live with their weird looks following me. This has been my life while I have been here in America and that is why it was difficult for me to fit in. However, not all people here are like this and I have met a lot of people who respect my choices.  

Manal: I was so afraid of being put in danger because of my hijab or of people throwing bad talk into my face because of it, however, none of that concerns me anymore. People here are so nice and they are so respectful. I do not feel that I fit in yet, I still do not feel comfortable enough to be a friend with anyone but Saudis. Maybe that is because of the huge differences between the two cultures. I like to only be around people who follow what I believe in instead of being with people who might disagree with that.

Tala: I couldn’t fit-in in the American culture or maybe I didn’t try enough to fit-in. I’m not a fan of the American culture and I don’t feel connected to it. However, I still have a few American friends that I sometimes hang out with. The reason after that is the huge differences between the two cultures. For example, at weekends my American friend would want to go to a bar and spend the evening drinking and I don’t drink that is why I prefer hanging out with Muslime friends more because we chose similar choices. One time my classmates decided to go out for dinner together after succeeding in one of the projects we were working on, they chose a bar to go to, thus I was not able to go with them because I don’t want to go to bars. Another example is when I talk about me ex-fiance and why we brock up, my Saudi and Arab friends understood me reasons easily, however, when I told my American friend, she did not think of it as “enough” reason to break up and that is also due to the cultural differences. I think that it takes a lot of effort to blend in with a totally different culture. Regarding studying here, being a Muslim didn’t affect my studying in the US. Tho my accent/language affected my working/studying in the US.  

Lamia: I do not that being a Muslim had any effects on my life here, I have never encountered any discrimination or intolerance behavior toward Muslims or being treated unfairly by the American.

- Since you came from a different culture, does that affect your understanding of literacy here?

Rania: I have never thought of that in-depth, but I don’t think so. For sure, I have struggled in understanding the literacy here but that was due to it being in English so it was because of the language more than it was because of the culture.

Manal: My English still so limited so I struggle in understanding most of the literacy here. 

 Tala: In the beginning YES. Now not so much. I understand most of the things that are used in the south such as “crack the door” and “cracked me up”  

Lamia: The language we speak shapes the way we think, so our understanding has to be affected. I am still not familiar with a lot of idioms here and sometimes people say things that I do not get because I understand the verbal meaning of it while they mean something totally different. 

- What are the biggest differences you noticed between literacy here and literacy back in Saudi Arabia?

Rania: In America, education is very specific. I noticed this because of my major, elementary education. It is very specific how American teachers have to teach their students, I am required to use many visual aids in my lesson plans for example, but in  Saudi Arabia, we do not need to use as many visual aids. Teachers here in America have very limited time to meet students’ parents and the parents have to make an appointment for that, but in Saudi Arabia, teachers are more friendly and can meet with the parents any time of the day.

Manal: As I started learning English I have noticed many differences between the two languages, for example, the way sentences are constructed in English, they write adjectives before nouns, which is the opposite of what we do in Arabic.

Tala: I’ve never thought of that but when I read the question my first thought was our literacy is deeper than here. The descriptions and terms used in Arabic literature are much deeper and they hold a stronger impact on the readers. I rarely stop when reading in English just to admire what I have read or reread it to enjoy its beauty. Maybe that is because most of what I read in English is for the school while what I read in Arabic is for pleasure.

Lamia: There are many differences between the two languages. To exemplify the Arabic language has grammatical gender, every noun gets assigned a gender, often masculine or feminine. So, for example, the sun is feminine but moon masculine. This is different in English so these things can affect our understanding.

I enjoyed interviewing those great ladies and some points I collected from their interviews were:

• The huge differences between the two cultures might make belonging and fitting in so difficult. 
• The language we speak affects the way we understand literacy.
• Being different won’t always put you in a bad position, however, sometimes it does.
• It is difficult to hold into your culture and identity in a totally different place, however, it is not impossible.

   A space to reflect:

Have you ever been in a place where you felt that you cannot fit in? What promoted that feeling?

If you get a chance to travel to a country that has a totally different culture than yours, what are the things that you feel will be the most difficult things to take or that will prohibit you from blending in?